


dont fly away, you're not an angel yet

by my_old_username_was_cringey



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves is Alive, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, the hargreeves are teenagers, this is basically just me venting, this is going to get sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-01-13 02:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18459752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_old_username_was_cringey/pseuds/my_old_username_was_cringey
Summary: Ben is trying to helpDiego is the boyfriendNumber five tries to be a good brotherVanya doesn't have a clue.klaus? well he just wants to die





	1. Chapter 1

Part I  
.  
its 6:24. dinner's served at 6:30  
''why dont you tell your brothers to get ready diego, we're going to eat soon'' grace advised. diego nodded and immediately dissapeared in the hallway. he was softly singing a tune that had been stuck in his head for almost a week. ''even old new york was once new amsterdam'' five showed it to him. his brother usually had somewhat good taste in music so when he needed something to listen to he'd always go to him. ''why they changed it, i can't say'' to his right was the first room, it was ben's. diego didn't even bother to come in since he knew ben was in the training room with five. the room opposite was vanya's. he gently knocked on the door. ''vanya? you have to get to the dining room, we're eating in a few minutes, dont be late again, you know dad doesn't like it'' diego heard a sigh through the door ''yeah, i'll be there''  
.  
further down the hallway was his room next to klaus'. he knocked. no answer. diego slightly opened the door hoping his brother wasn't naked.  
thank god he wasn't. klaus was lying on his bed, it looked like he was sleeping. he opened the door a little wider to get a better look at his brother. it creaked ''WHOEVER THIS IS, IM GONNA SAW YOUR HEAD OFF IF YOU DONT LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT THIS SECOND!'' klaus spat. diego slowly walked towards the bed. '' klaus, you need to come with me, the dinner is about to be served'' he said with the most calm voice he could. klaus had a tendency to overreact and throw things at him. last week he got a vase smashed on his head, it still hurt. diego wanted to avoid that happening again so he went calm and steady in klaus' direction ''im not hungry diego, just leave me alone'' klaus answered '' you dont have to eat but you need to sit at the table with us, you know how dad is''  
.  
diego took one step closer putting his hand on his brother's shoulder '' you asked for it'' klaus said while slowly turning around '' asked for wha..'' diego didn't even have time to finish his sentence that a puch was thrown at him. '' KLAUS YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!'' diego looks at klaus ready to hit him back but then stops in shock. his eyes were all filled with tears, puffy and red and his pillow seemed soaking wet. had klaus been crying? ''are you okay?'' diego whisperd '' yeah im fucking amazing thanks for asking'' diego softly hugged his brother and held him. klaus tried to push diego off at first but quickly accepted it.  
.  
‘’ are you okay? ‘’ diego asked again with concern in his voice. ‘’ klaus’ breathing intensified and he let out quiet sobs ‘’ we don’t have t-time to talk about it, we-we have to go e-eat, they’re waiting for us.’’  
diego squeezed his arm around his brother, got up and kissed him on the forehead ‘’ i’ll meet you in your room at 11 o’clock, don’t fall asleep before.’’ he took klaus’ hand and led him to the bathroom do dry his eyes. they arrived in the dining room holding hands.  
diego has to make sure klaus was okay.  
.  
Part II  
.  
the meal was as quiet and as boring as usual. the men they all called dad wouldn't let them talk during mealtime. klaus hated it. diego said he’d come at 11 to meet him in his room, he didn't want him to but he knew he had to otherwise his brother would grow suspicious of him hiding something. his plan is to play it cool and have some nice brother time with diego and after he wouldn't ask him questions anymore. ever.  
at 10:42 klaus started getting nervous, he was afraid of saying something that would worry his brother. he needed to be on some kind of high because he knew the conversation would be unbearable. he rolled a joint and lit it. klaus took a long drag before almost choking on smoke. he heard footsteps coming. shit! was diego early ?  
klaus quickly hid what was in his hand and chased the smoke away  
.  
‘’what the fuck is that smell klaus? “ asked diego like he was about to murder someone “is that’s weed? are you smoking weed? what are you, stupid?”  
klaus sighed “yeah, and what if i was? would it really be so bad?” diego clenched his fists so hard he thought they would start bleeding ‘’klaus’’ he whispered barely audibly. ‘’ look, i love you bro and i dont want you to put this shit on your body. you know its bad. and i can clearly see you’re not okay. today, at the table you were fidgeting and looking down to your knees the whole time, you barely touched your food and the only time you looked up at me your eyes were bloodshot, just…just tell me whats wrong.’’ he was looking at his brother with pity ‘’ please’’ his asked with his voice cracking  
‘’i have three things to say to you diego. one, my eyes were red because i have seasonal allergies. two, i already told you i wasn’t hungry and finally three, im fine so please just fuck off and leave me the fuck alone. i dont need you’’ klaus protested his voice going louder towards the end. there was a moment of silence  
‘’ i dont believe you. have you seen yourself today? you’re going to need a haircut and a shave. you’re looking skinny there you sleepy head, when was the last time you had a decent night’s sleep? you know i can see behind your eyes, your mind is getting wasted, you’re always getting wasted all the time. klaus, what is wrong with you? ‘’ he could see diego was getting emotional over what he just said.  
.  
‘’IM FINE’’ klaus yelled, tearing up ‘’ dont worry im fine’’ he softly repeated hot tears streaming down his face. it was hard to breathe, his vision was blurry but he could see diego approaching him. klaus closed his eyes and pulled on his hair ‘’ no no no theres nothing wrong with me, i swear, just believe me.’’ he was clawing at his face, sobbing. ‘’ STOP IT KLAUS!!’’ diego screamed ‘’ im here for you. tell me what’s wrong. i know you’re going through tough times, it doesn’t mean you’re crazy. i know how bad it feels to be alone and i want to help you ‘’ klaus was quick to answer ‘’you can’t ’’ diego put his hands on his brother’s shoulder ‘’ look me in the eyes ‘’ klaus didn’t move. diego took one hand off one shoulder and cupped klaus’ chin with it. ‘’ look at me, look at my eyes, believe me when i tell you this. you’ll be just fine. its just a rough couple of months and then it all goes away. maybe you’re right, maybe i can’t help you, but let me at least try. what is the worst that could happen? huh? ‘’ klaus opened his eyes and look into diego’s ‘’ dont tell anyone okay?’’he asked ‘’ i won’t, you’re safe with me klaus ‘’ diego said with the most adorable smile painted on his face.  
‘’ okay ‘’  
.  
Part III  
.  
‘’ i never thought i’d be so mean. i never thought i’d be alone at nineteen. but all the voices are in my head again, they’re in my head again. and all my thoughts are running through my head and out the window. that’s where i’d like to go. i’d rather be dumb than sane, i’d rather be numb than in pain. it makes it hard to survive. i can’t find any reasons to stay i just find my pain. im looking for something more so take me out from out the door. i bleed to feel alive but i am dead inside. so please be kind. im losing my mind. im really not fine. no, i can’t take it. all of these memories. i can’t fake it, im trying to fight it, i am dying. i just want to be myself but now im someone else instead. what if i told you i wanted to die? that im tired of being alive. what if i said it gets worse at night? the thoughts get louder and nothing is right. what if i lied and said everything was alright? what if i was dead? i doubt anyone would even cry. who would even care if i took my life away? i miss being a kid. friends become strangers, lollipops turned to cigarettes, innocent ones into whores, homework goes in the trash, soda becomes vodka and kisses into sex. getting high meant swinging on the playground. the only thing that hurt you was grazed knees and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow. we all said we couldn’t wait to grow up. what were we thinking? im miserable. how much do i have to wait. how many nights do i have to stay awake? i’d like to tell you that things will get better tomorrow but I’ve been trough so many tomorrows and nothing has changed. i just want to give up. i want the pain to stop. im sure you could all live without me. hell, you’d even be better off. do you know what its like to be tortured by your own mind? i think i hit the point in life where im just done, i cried, i fought, i tried, but everything’s crashing down. my demons are screaming louder, trying to eat away the rest of me and this time i dont want to fight back. the only way i found to survive was drugs. im destroying myself but im too tired to care. i want to kill myself, i want to kill myself so bad but i love you all and i dont want to hurt you. if i found a way to not hurt you i would immediately do it. but now im to a point where i dont even know if you care anymore. diego, you’re the first to ask me how i was, to really ask me in 1148 days, I’ve been counting, its pathetic. i dont blame anyone. i did this to myself. its my fault. everything is my fault. im sorry diego. im so sorry. im sorry ’’ klaus agonised through his whole speech.  
.  
diego was sobbing ’’ hey, hey klaus. its going to be okay. listen to me. it has to be okay. im here you’re not alone. please. klaus…’’ klaus’ whole body was shaking, his knees were bucking and he was about to fall to the ground. diego took him by the waist and gently sat him down.  
‘’could you, maybe sleep in my room tonight? protect me from the ones that haunt me in the night. i can’t live with myself so stay with me tonight… please’’klaus asked still shaking and whimpering.  
‘’of course, is there anything else i can do for you?’’  
‘’ actually there is. ’’  
‘’oh?’’  
.  
‘’ kiss me. ‘’  
.  
love me, make me forget the pain, help me , save me, heal me, all of this was contained in a simple request  
.  
klaus closed his eyes waiting for the inevitable rejection. why did he ask I’m that? oh my good he was such a fool. now diego was going to think tha.. klaus was stopped in his train of thought by two lips pressing over his own. he opened his eyes and saw diego, his eyes firmly shut, tears streaming down from them. all the voices went away. the room was entirely quiet if not for both their heartbeats. his lips were chapped, almost bleeding but to him, they felt like the softest in the world.  
.  
they pulled away, briefly looked at each other ‘’ don’t cry diego, its all going to be fine’’ klaus said weakly. diego answered with a frail smile. klaus got up, taking diego’s hand with him. they both went in the bed. klaus held diego’s hand all night long almost not sleeping. he felt guilty for making his brother worry so much. he tried to be silent, letting out faint sobs. they woke up diego but he didn’t mind to be woken up. ‘’ come closer klaus’’ he whispered not to wake up his siblings. he pulled klaus into a tight hug and they both fell asleep like that klaus crying into his brother’s arms. diego wanted to cry too but he had to be strong for his brother.


	2. chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so umm imma be honest i won't finish this but i found a draft of the 2nd chapter so idk yeah here it is basically diego wants to make klaus some pancakes to make him feel better and the eat them on the rooftop watching the sunrise or whatever  
> this is shit I'm sorry

the next morning  
.  
diego woke up before the sun was even up. he was little surprised to wake up into his brothers room but then the memories of the previous night all came folding back in his head. oh how he wished it would’ve been a nightmare. klaus couldn’t really feel like that, could he? diego quietly got up during not to shake his brother around too much to wake him up. once out of the bet and on his feet he walked towards the door and ultimately made his way to the living room to find grace. he knew she was there. its where she stayed slept during the night. to be honest it was more charging and uploading new files to the family cloud than sleeping but, oh well.  
.  
she was there, sitting at her usual spot ‘’mom? do you think you could help me with something?’’ a couple of seconds later grace answered ‘’ why, yes of course but don’t you think its a bit early? ill ask sir reginald hargreaves if you can start your morning activities but first you need to…’’ she was stopped ‘’ could you please not tell dad about this. i need it to remain a secret. ‘’ he pleaded while looking up in his moms eyes. she slowly nodded with a smile. ‘’ what do you need help for? ‘’ diego waited a while before answer it, he was almost ashamed to ask ‘’ i want, uhh, i want to make chocolate chip pancakes. no, one pancake rather.’’

**Author's Note:**

> I'm french and I'm trying to perfect my enlish so please feel free to send me feedback


End file.
